Wow, it is the start of September! That means it is spring and two thirds of the way through the year. And I am sooooo far behind in my project.
This week I discovered this delightful US website called Wazoo which sells survival gear. Including Wazombies!
Awesomely cool, although their zombie paracord bracelet packs more gear. And pretty trendy too. While Wazoo do ship overseas the gear is rather pricey, so I won't be buying one just yet.
However I have purchased a wonderful fashion accessory, a groin protector. Kind of like one of those codpieces that were all the rage back in the sixteenth century. Very stylish and required for self defense classes. Even have bruises from the last class. Think that was when one guy grabbed my shoulder and kneed me three times in the stomach (no injury - I was holding a kickpad and wearing my trusty groin protector).
And how amazing is Australia Survivor? Seriously, what is it like? I haven't seen a single episode. Unfortunately I live in a very democratic house and everyone else is voting to watch Zumbos Just Desserts instead. Sigh.
Bite off my Zumbo dessert than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Your life is an occasion, rise to it (and don't get bit)
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Saturday, 3 September 2016
Saturday, 6 August 2016
busy
Well it has been a busy week.
Took my first lesson in Krav maga, the Israeli combat system. They like to get physical and protective gear is mandatory for later classes. They also like to stress test you.
The second edit of my manuscript is done. But I am not happy with the narrative flow so been restructuring the chapters. Who though making stuff up would be so hard.
I am also taking swimming lessons to improve my 'floundering in the water' skills. Feels like I am getting worse but maybe all those rotation, core body and breathing drills will come together at some stage. On the plus side I am getting better at treading water.
Oh yeah there is the other exercising to keep up with. Currently researching how to combine the Tabata protocols with a Paleo fitness regime, to unleash that inner caveman. Seriously.
My car arrived so there is lots of work to be done. Like reading the manual to work out what the hell Dynamic Vehicle Control and Continuous Variable Transmission are all about. There is also the long, long shopping list of survival gear to buy for the car, so I am ready for the zombies. It will be a slow process as I save up for the more expensive items like chainsaws, hazmat suits and industrial strength air fresheners.
Bite of more than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Took my first lesson in Krav maga, the Israeli combat system. They like to get physical and protective gear is mandatory for later classes. They also like to stress test you.
The second edit of my manuscript is done. But I am not happy with the narrative flow so been restructuring the chapters. Who though making stuff up would be so hard.
I am also taking swimming lessons to improve my 'floundering in the water' skills. Feels like I am getting worse but maybe all those rotation, core body and breathing drills will come together at some stage. On the plus side I am getting better at treading water.
Oh yeah there is the other exercising to keep up with. Currently researching how to combine the Tabata protocols with a Paleo fitness regime, to unleash that inner caveman. Seriously.
My car arrived so there is lots of work to be done. Like reading the manual to work out what the hell Dynamic Vehicle Control and Continuous Variable Transmission are all about. There is also the long, long shopping list of survival gear to buy for the car, so I am ready for the zombies. It will be a slow process as I save up for the more expensive items like chainsaws, hazmat suits and industrial strength air fresheners.
Bite of more than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Sunday, 24 July 2016
Bug out vehicle
Unfortunately a little old lady took out the car I normally drive.
No one was hurt but the smash repair place took one look at the 1996 Excel sprint and said it wasn't worth fixing. Kind of sad really, she was going to turn 20 years old in December.
So I have been busy car hunting. Having read Creek Stewart's How to build the perfect bug out vehicle several times, I was looking for something that would serve me well in an apocalypse. You know, pepper spray holder on the dashboard, camouflage paint job and extra cup holders.
For a while I was looking at restored ex-military vehicles. Even found a couple of War World Two vintage Willys jeeps for sale. It was tempting, they are simple, rugged and oh so retro in style. But driving an open topped jeep in minus 4 degrees isn't so exciting. Plus leasing a car means you have to buy almost new. So that ruled out the restored Kombi vans. Maybe one day.
Buying a car is often about compromises, so instead of the manual diesel I ended up with a petrol automatic. They just don't make manuals for the model I wanted because, to quote the sales rep, 'Australians are lazy buggers'.
Soon I will be the owner of high tech car with electric windows, reversing camera, bluetooth and other strange stuff. My old car had wind down widows and a broken cassette deck with a chewed up copy of Wham's Fantastic still in it. That's right, a cassette deck.
It will be an interesting journey. One with ipod connectivity.
Bite off more airbags than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
No one was hurt but the smash repair place took one look at the 1996 Excel sprint and said it wasn't worth fixing. Kind of sad really, she was going to turn 20 years old in December.
So I have been busy car hunting. Having read Creek Stewart's How to build the perfect bug out vehicle several times, I was looking for something that would serve me well in an apocalypse. You know, pepper spray holder on the dashboard, camouflage paint job and extra cup holders.
For a while I was looking at restored ex-military vehicles. Even found a couple of War World Two vintage Willys jeeps for sale. It was tempting, they are simple, rugged and oh so retro in style. But driving an open topped jeep in minus 4 degrees isn't so exciting. Plus leasing a car means you have to buy almost new. So that ruled out the restored Kombi vans. Maybe one day.
Buying a car is often about compromises, so instead of the manual diesel I ended up with a petrol automatic. They just don't make manuals for the model I wanted because, to quote the sales rep, 'Australians are lazy buggers'.
Soon I will be the owner of high tech car with electric windows, reversing camera, bluetooth and other strange stuff. My old car had wind down widows and a broken cassette deck with a chewed up copy of Wham's Fantastic still in it. That's right, a cassette deck.
It will be an interesting journey. One with ipod connectivity.
Bite off more airbags than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
fitness test
I took a DIY fitness test on the weekend, to see how I would cope if the zombies rise up.
The test is from Major Sam McGrath's book, The Para fitness guide ('Para', as in the elite UK paratrooper regiment). It seemed an appropriate and manly enough test for me. He breaks the results down into four levels, Civilian, Recruit, Solder and Paratrooper. So how did I stack up?
Cardiovascular Fitness Test
Do a warm up and then run 2.4 km (1.5 miles). Obviously a good test of fitness but also great practice for outrunning the walking dead. I was hoping to do under 12.30 minutes but the buzzer went off just as the end was in sight. So close.
over 12.30 minutes - score: Civilian
Strength & Muscular Endurance Tests
Push ups are a solid measure of your upper body strength and zombie whacking power. How many push ups can you do in 2 minutes? I ran out of steam but managed 71 (I have been practicing). The last dozen were painful.
71 push ups - score: Solider
Wait two minutes and then do it again with sit ups. A great test of muscular endurance. Plus we all want washboard abs, even in the zombie apocalypse. I ran out of time so need to speed it up.
60 push ups - score: Solider
Then the fun one, chin ups (or pull ups). An excellent measure of your body to weight strength and handy when desperately scrambling over walls to avoid the undead. Do as many as possible without letting go or touching the ground. Failed here with a mere 3.5 but getting better with more practice, already up to 3.75!
3.5 - score: Civilian
Flexibility test
This tests flexibility in your back and hamstrings, whatever they are. Being flexible is good, especially when scavenging for food off the top shelves of abandoned supermarkets. Sit on the floor with your feet against the wall. Slide your fingers along the floor towards the wall to a spot where you can hold it for about 5 seconds. Score is the distance between wall and your fingers.
14.5 cm - score: Solider
Seeing I am too old and lazy to join any army the results are pretty positive. Have to see if I improve in a month's time.
The test is from Major Sam McGrath's book, The Para fitness guide ('Para', as in the elite UK paratrooper regiment). It seemed an appropriate and manly enough test for me. He breaks the results down into four levels, Civilian, Recruit, Solder and Paratrooper. So how did I stack up?
Cardiovascular Fitness Test
Do a warm up and then run 2.4 km (1.5 miles). Obviously a good test of fitness but also great practice for outrunning the walking dead. I was hoping to do under 12.30 minutes but the buzzer went off just as the end was in sight. So close.
over 12.30 minutes - score: Civilian
Strength & Muscular Endurance Tests
Push ups are a solid measure of your upper body strength and zombie whacking power. How many push ups can you do in 2 minutes? I ran out of steam but managed 71 (I have been practicing). The last dozen were painful.
71 push ups - score: Solider
Wait two minutes and then do it again with sit ups. A great test of muscular endurance. Plus we all want washboard abs, even in the zombie apocalypse. I ran out of time so need to speed it up.
60 push ups - score: Solider
Then the fun one, chin ups (or pull ups). An excellent measure of your body to weight strength and handy when desperately scrambling over walls to avoid the undead. Do as many as possible without letting go or touching the ground. Failed here with a mere 3.5 but getting better with more practice, already up to 3.75!
3.5 - score: Civilian
Flexibility test
This tests flexibility in your back and hamstrings, whatever they are. Being flexible is good, especially when scavenging for food off the top shelves of abandoned supermarkets. Sit on the floor with your feet against the wall. Slide your fingers along the floor towards the wall to a spot where you can hold it for about 5 seconds. Score is the distance between wall and your fingers.
14.5 cm - score: Solider
Seeing I am too old and lazy to join any army the results are pretty positive. Have to see if I improve in a month's time.
Tuesday, 28 June 2016
Apocalypse Hal: Low tech
So once you have dropped your night vision gear down the stairs and smashed your drone into the trees, it will be time to go old school.
There are many simple tools you can create or adapt for use in the zombie wastelands. Duct tape a car wing mirror onto a pole and you have a handy trench periscope for looking around corners and peering into buildings. Flaming torches work just as well as a flashlight and will give you that swashbuckling adventurer look.
Sometimes it's cool to go old school. Sometimes it is your only choice.
Bite of more than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Apoclypse Hal: High Tech
Scavenging for rusty tins of pet food in the ruins of humanity will be dangerous. All those hungry undead prowling the zombie wastelands means you need to be extra careful.
Luckily technology can give you an edge with those basic tasks like communications, lighting and detecting the walking dead.
The downside with such high tech gadgets is the warranties will be void once the zombies appear. So be extra careful with your gear. Oh yeah, you will need a solar battery charge too.
Bite off more than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Luckily technology can give you an edge with those basic tasks like communications, lighting and detecting the walking dead.
The downside with such high tech gadgets is the warranties will be void once the zombies appear. So be extra careful with your gear. Oh yeah, you will need a solar battery charge too.
Bite off more than you can chew
Mr Rimsky
Monday, 6 June 2016
Random Zombie Travel Finds
Greetings BZFers!
I am now home after my year-long experience in South East Asia. I had some great experiences, sweated a lot and learned many important lessons along the way.
I am now home after my year-long experience in South East Asia. I had some great experiences, sweated a lot and learned many important lessons along the way.
As you know, many of these lessons were valuable preparations for the inevitable Zombie apocalypse. Over the year my posts have included: South East Asia transport options during the apocalypse; breakdowns on the different types of Zombies you may encounter; apocalypse survival lesson from rural fieldtrips; how to spot patient 0 in transit; Chinese hopping Zombies; and tips on Zombie-proofing any accommodation.
To wrap up my travel series, I thought I’d begin by sharing a few random Zombie/apocalypse-related things I found over the year:
Thing 1: Canned Gas
This can was spotted on one of my first nights in Phnom Penh and it just seems like the kind of thing that would be helpful in the apocalypse. I mean, look at Mr Gas. He seems ready for anything!
Thing 2:
Skinfood
Skinfood is a store in a giant shopping mall in Phnom Penh. To me, it sounds like the kind of place Zombies would do their groceries when they can’t manage to find a fresh human around…
Skinfood is a store in a giant shopping mall in Phnom Penh. To me, it sounds like the kind of place Zombies would do their groceries when they can’t manage to find a fresh human around…
Thing 3: Neck and Neck
This was spotted in the same shopping mall as Skinfood. The shop is actually full of children’s clothes, but don’t be fooled – Necks are a classic target areas for Zombies to bite, so I’m sure they’re behind this façade!
This was spotted in the same shopping mall as Skinfood. The shop is actually full of children’s clothes, but don’t be fooled – Necks are a classic target areas for Zombies to bite, so I’m sure they’re behind this façade!
Thing 4: Fly covered corn
During my first fieldtrip in a place called Kampong Chhnang, we stopped for corn. After demolishing said delicious corn, flies swarmed my discarded corn shells…admittedly there were more flies before I whipped my Camera out, but food waste covered in insects kind of reminded me of the Walking Dead…a scene of things to come…
During my first fieldtrip in a place called Kampong Chhnang, we stopped for corn. After demolishing said delicious corn, flies swarmed my discarded corn shells…admittedly there were more flies before I whipped my Camera out, but food waste covered in insects kind of reminded me of the Walking Dead…a scene of things to come…
Thing 5: Zombie inspired Magic Art
in Bangkok
During a brief trip to Bangkok, I googled something like ‘Zombies Bangkok’ and found a 3D Art museum with an awesome Thai horror zone which had many zombie related pieces:
During a brief trip to Bangkok, I googled something like ‘Zombies Bangkok’ and found a 3D Art museum with an awesome Thai horror zone which had many zombie related pieces:
I tried to do a cool jumping shot with
this, but it was hard with the camera timer. I found a nice Thai lady
to help me, but this was the best we got:
Thing 6: Street of The Dead
(Singapore)
This is one of those times when I did not seek out Zombie related things – in this case Zombie related things found me. My first night in Singapore I was casually wandering around Chinatown and I found this:
This is one of those times when I did not seek out Zombie related things – in this case Zombie related things found me. My first night in Singapore I was casually wandering around Chinatown and I found this:
Thing 7: Universal Studios
Frankenstein
On a trip to Singapore’s Universal Studios, I met Frankenstein (the original Zombie) for the second time. We first became acquainted back in 2012 and I was pretty excited to see him again in 2015!
On a trip to Singapore’s Universal Studios, I met Frankenstein (the original Zombie) for the second time. We first became acquainted back in 2012 and I was pretty excited to see him again in 2015!
2012
2015
Thing 8: Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights!
The reason I was in Singapore was
because there was a week long holiday in Cambodia to honour ancestors
(Pchum Ben). But the reason I chose to go to Singapore, over say,
Taiwan or Hong Kong, was because this was happening:
Halloween Horror Nights (HHN) is an annual Halloween event held at the various Universal Studios around the world! They spookify the whole park and set-up a bunch of differently themed haunted houses and Scare-zones. The show started with an opening SCAREMONY, which helped introduce the event by having characters from each theme yell at you and stuff. Also there was an explosion.
The first haunted house I went into was Hell House! It was super creepy and hot, and included a few random body parts sticking out of walls and hanging from ceilings. They also gave us some paper which supposed to be some sort of Spirit world currency, and one of my main memories of this house was how amusingly jumpy the girl in front of me was (she tipped me off to the scariest bits). There was also a Jiang Shi (Chinese hopping Zombie) at the end with a massive tongue, although I couldn’t capture it due to the no photo policy.
The second Haunted House I went into was specifically Singapore themed to celebrate the city’s 50th birthday. The line to get in was as long as my flight from Phnom Penh, but the inside was pretty cool - it had lots of security guys directing you through a Singaporean apartment complex that had been plagued by a horrible zombie-like disease.
Invaders wasn’t a haunted house but a ‘Scarezone’ which allowed guests to walk through freely and take pics, etc. It was full of giant scary aliens and wounded human soldiers. It was a very cool atmosphere and a good alternative to the Haunted House lines. It was a bit like walking through a live movie set.
Conterminated was another Scare zone
that was set up to look like an abandoned diseased colony. The piles
of rubbish bags impressed me the most as they looked all too real…
And finally HUNGRY GHOSTS was my favourite scare zone! It featured the Chinese hopping Zombie, who I followed around as it stalked the other guests:
I would highly recommend going to a Halloween Horror Night if you ever find yourself near a Universal Studios around the end of October! They even had scary themed food:
And also spotted this disturbing bird-like creature who was on his (?) way to a Halloween themed show.
So there you have it BZFers! Proof that Zombies can be found all around the world! So no matter where you end up in this crazy planet of ours, remember that the Zombies can be lurking under every filthy hostel mattress; be stumbling through any overly priced tourists sites; or sitting next to you on a plane/train/tuk tuk or elephant!
Rise against the Risen!
Miss Ace
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