Saturday, 11 February 2017

Miss Ace - Twisted Ankles

Twisted Ankles - 
the silent killers of the Zombie Apocalypse  

FACT: 80% of Zombie deaths can be linked back to a twisted ankle*

An ankle injury goes by many names – twists, rolls, sprains…but no matter what they’re called they all lead to the same unfortunate end – zombification. We all know the scene…a terrified human is running through the woods being chased by a zombie…they look back…they’re almost in the clear and then BAM, they hit the deck face first! 

What happened? Did someone push them? Did a small earthquake occur? Did a tribe of tiny mice join forces with the undead to make wee little traps to foil humans when zombies are in pursuit? 

No! They tripped over a tree root, a small rock or a rotting banana peel and now they can barely walk on that busted ankle, let alone run!
We all know what happens next, their fate is sealed as the zombie gets closer and closer…and the ranks of the undead are increased by one. 

Why does this happen? Did humans evolve to have puny ankles? Are the ankles predetermined as the Achilles heel of the human race?

I say no – puny ankles are one of many unfortunate frailties caused by modern life, e.g. silly shoes, abundance of flat surfaces, etc. Re-claiming the strength of the ankle needs to be a priority for every human hoping to survive the upcoming zombie onslaught.  

I first came across the idea of ankle protection through the work of movement teacher, Ido Portal. You can see this gnarly video about ankle alignment here: 

I went along to one of his seminars in late 2014 and (among other things) started using his ankle techniques. This totally came in handy during my year in Cambodia – I was walking with a friend at dusk, carrying a bucket of supplies, about 15 minutes away from home. I was living in the rural province of Kampong Chhnang at the time, where medical help was hard to come by. As I was strolling along, my vision of the ground was blocked by said bucket. So, without warning, I stepped in a hole and my ankle went full sideways and caused me to flip the bucket and stumble. However, despite this massive misstep, there was no injury to my ankle and I could keep walking on with no problems. Rolling an ankle in Kampong Chhnang would have been a major inconvenience, and if Zombies were nearby it would have been the end. Alex - 1; Zombie trap hole - 0

The hole that tripped me, Kampong Chhnang, Cambodia, circa May 2016

To keep your ankles (and the rest of your self) safe from zombification, I recommend checking out more from Ido Portal here:; as well as these other helpful resources: 

Gold Medal Bodies:

Katy Bowman (Nutritious Movement):

Rafe Kelley (Evolve Move Play)

Modern gyms may be packed with treadmills attached to TVs and big, shiny machines to help you build big, disproportionate muscles, some of them even claim to do ‘functional’ or ‘obstacle’ fitness…But, before you sign up your life away to McFitness, ask yourself this question…will they help me strengthen my ankles for the Zombocalypse?

Rise against the Risen! 

Miss Ace 

* no data exists for this fact