Saturday, 29 August 2015

Apocalypse Hal - Crafty Cooper's colour code for combating crazed corpses!

So now we are going to explore the subject of fighting zombies and I am going to teach you some vital combat techniques. Using charts.

That is right, when the zombies gather to rip your brains out, you will be glad you have a cool  paradigm on your side. So lets start with Jeff Cooper, famous for creating the modern technique of handgun fighting. Cooper served in the United States Marine Corp during World War Two and Korea. He came up with a colour code for the different states of awareness a person can experience. It is a combo of your psychological and physiological states. 

Most people wander around in condition White, totally unprepared and totally unaware. When something does happen they usually react in shock which makes for great YouTube videos. Such as the Norwegian safe sex campaign in where a guy in a giant penis costume surprises people. Seriously how hard is it to spot a giant penis shuffling towards you? It it was zombies these poor people would be lacking brains instead of being covered in glitter. 

You need to be in condition Yellow, where you are constantly observing your surroundings and alert for potential threat. When there is a possible threat, you switch into condition Orange, where you start to evaluate the threat and consider your plan of action. Maybe you are lucky and can avoid the threat but if you need to get physical then you switch into condition Red. That is the fight mode. 

Now Cooper's code code only went to Red but the United States Marine Corp modified his code by adding condition Black. This is where your physiological state goes extreme and you essentially panic. So while Yellow to Red are all appropriate conditions to be in, depending the situation, it is the White and Black you want to avoid.

Bite off more than you can chew

Mr Rimsky


Saturday, 22 August 2015

Apocalypse Hal - Brain bits

You can't discuss zombies without discussing brains, particularly the eating thereof. 

However in this case we can going to have a peek at our own brains, because you will want to use this 1.5 kg lump of jelly like material to keep you alive.

Now I must confess, I am not a neurosurgeon, which is probably a good thing seeing I am clumsy with power tools. So I may not have pinpointed all the bits correctly but hopefully you are not using this as medical advice. The brain is extremely complex and Latin is a tricky language.

Anyway, key thing is most of the input from your sense organs goes through your limbic system (emotions) before it gets to you cerebral cortex (where you think). This is partly why emotions can overwhelm you before you realise what is happening. Also why decision making is so closely linked to emotions. 

Bite off more brains than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Friday, 21 August 2015

DEAD PLANET – Apocalessons from the field

Since arriving in Cambodia, I have been lucky enough to go on a couple fieldtrips with my colleagues to look at how they run activities like tuberculosis screenings and community meetings – all things I had read about at Uni and now had the privilege to see in action.

In addition to screenings and meetings, these fieldtrips have also involved unexpected river crossings, power-outs, Malaria tablets, homestays, motorbikes, hammocks, limited sleep, mystery meals, storms, occasional running water, occasional electricity and occasional encounters with livestock.

On the fieldtrip where a slightly unseasonal storm caused a massive power out, I found myself sitting in the dark with a few hours to kill before dinner with my colleagues. As I was entertaining my feeble mind by making rudimentary shadow puppets (with the help of my torch), I realised that these fieldtrips are great practice for some of the things one might encounter during the zombocalypse. So here now, I share these with you - three Apocalessons from the field! 
Lesson 1 – Learn how to have powerless fun
As mentioned above, I used shadow puppets to entertain myself in the dark. But during the zombocalypse, the batteries in your torch could probably be put to better use. So another thing I picked up to entertain myself during fieldtrip down times is juggling. Not only is it quiet (will not attract Zombies with noise), it will help train your eyes to see movement in the dark. A past time which is both entertaining and practical whilst you are hiding in a secure location, waiting for those annoying zombie herds to pass you by. 

Lesson 2 – Bugs are a great source of protein
A few years ago I spent three months living in another city in Cambodia, called Siem Reap (which I have previously blogged about, I’m sure you remember). When I was there some of the people I was working would often make an ‘event’ out of introducing foreigners to foods they normally wouldn’t eat in their home countries, like bugs. I ate everything on offer – balut, silk worm, cricket, etc and a good time was had by all. Fast forward a few years and I found myself living in a smaller town in Cambodia, where eating bugs in meals was not a ‘special’ occurrence, but rather, just something you occasionally ate ordered. I suspect this might be the case when the zombocalypse occurs and the food supplies are low. Get used to buggy goodness and you will be able to absorb more protein than the more squeamish survivors. 

Lesson 3 – Get used to vermin
The second fieldtrip I went on started with a four and half hour drive to a nearby province. At the start of this trip, I was innocently sitting in my seat, when my peripheral vision registered a flash of small, grey movement…followed by a tail. Yep, a mouse had jumped from a hole in the dash board into a hole in the handbrake area. I suspect encounters with vermin will be a regular occurrence during the zombocalypse. Zombies aren’t known for their hygiene, and may very well be like pied pipers leading vermin back into the streets en masse. Lots of people are uncomfortable around rodents, but in the case of the Zombocalypse, you may have bigger, more cannibalistic things to worry about.

So in conclusion, learn how to safely and wisely entertain yourself in the dark, eat some bugs and make friends with mice! 

Rise against the Risen! 


Saturday, 15 August 2015

Apocalpyse Hal - Mood board

Remember that survey I did late last year that hardly anyone responded too? Well I finally got around to doing the mood board based on the results.

Looks like something you find on the pavement outside a nightclub at 3.00 am on a Sunday morning. So I guess I got it right. And may I say you are a bunch of sickos. I had to tone it down a bit, especially in regards to Paris Hinton's anatomy.

Bite off more than you can chew. 

Mr Rimsky

Saturday, 8 August 2015

Apocalpyse Hal - Time Management

Those survival reality TV shows all preach about how survival is all about energy conservation or being lazy. So with limited food and equipment, time management will be an important skill in the zombie apocalypse.

So I took one of those classic time management charts they use at work and adapted it for life in zombies wastelands.

Bite off more Tim Tams that you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Apocalpse Hal - The Four Archetypes of the Apocalypse [and a Zombie]

There is a thing called psychographics, which allows you to understand how different types of people behave. It is the study of personality, values, opinions, attitudes, interests, and lifestyles. It is beloved by market researchers cause they can charge more to do it.

But can it help with the zombie apocalypse?

So I have established the four principle types and identified a key stakeholder (the zombie). Hopefully the four archetypes are self explanatory (still refining the profiles). There is even a client journey as people develop their zombie preparedness, going from the Silly Non Believers to the Prepper and Survivalists. 

Now I just have to complete the Impact Assessment and Change Readiness chart and build the narrative!

Bite off more personality profiles than you can chew. 

Mr Rimsky