Friday, 21 August 2015

DEAD PLANET – Apocalessons from the field

Since arriving in Cambodia, I have been lucky enough to go on a couple fieldtrips with my colleagues to look at how they run activities like tuberculosis screenings and community meetings – all things I had read about at Uni and now had the privilege to see in action.

In addition to screenings and meetings, these fieldtrips have also involved unexpected river crossings, power-outs, Malaria tablets, homestays, motorbikes, hammocks, limited sleep, mystery meals, storms, occasional running water, occasional electricity and occasional encounters with livestock.

On the fieldtrip where a slightly unseasonal storm caused a massive power out, I found myself sitting in the dark with a few hours to kill before dinner with my colleagues. As I was entertaining my feeble mind by making rudimentary shadow puppets (with the help of my torch), I realised that these fieldtrips are great practice for some of the things one might encounter during the zombocalypse. So here now, I share these with you - three Apocalessons from the field! 
Lesson 1 – Learn how to have powerless fun
As mentioned above, I used shadow puppets to entertain myself in the dark. But during the zombocalypse, the batteries in your torch could probably be put to better use. So another thing I picked up to entertain myself during fieldtrip down times is juggling. Not only is it quiet (will not attract Zombies with noise), it will help train your eyes to see movement in the dark. A past time which is both entertaining and practical whilst you are hiding in a secure location, waiting for those annoying zombie herds to pass you by. 

Lesson 2 – Bugs are a great source of protein
A few years ago I spent three months living in another city in Cambodia, called Siem Reap (which I have previously blogged about, I’m sure you remember). When I was there some of the people I was working would often make an ‘event’ out of introducing foreigners to foods they normally wouldn’t eat in their home countries, like bugs. I ate everything on offer – balut, silk worm, cricket, etc and a good time was had by all. Fast forward a few years and I found myself living in a smaller town in Cambodia, where eating bugs in meals was not a ‘special’ occurrence, but rather, just something you occasionally ate ordered. I suspect this might be the case when the zombocalypse occurs and the food supplies are low. Get used to buggy goodness and you will be able to absorb more protein than the more squeamish survivors. 

Lesson 3 – Get used to vermin
The second fieldtrip I went on started with a four and half hour drive to a nearby province. At the start of this trip, I was innocently sitting in my seat, when my peripheral vision registered a flash of small, grey movement…followed by a tail. Yep, a mouse had jumped from a hole in the dash board into a hole in the handbrake area. I suspect encounters with vermin will be a regular occurrence during the zombocalypse. Zombies aren’t known for their hygiene, and may very well be like pied pipers leading vermin back into the streets en masse. Lots of people are uncomfortable around rodents, but in the case of the Zombocalypse, you may have bigger, more cannibalistic things to worry about.

So in conclusion, learn how to safely and wisely entertain yourself in the dark, eat some bugs and make friends with mice! 

Rise against the Risen! 


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