Panic buying, Eurovision and zombies

The reality of a zombie apocalypse is that in the initial days, hordes of unprepared people will panic buy everything in the stores. When cyclone Maria bore down on Yeppoon in 2015, some shops sold out of bananas in 30 minutes!

So it helps to have some experience with crazed mobs of shoppers. Something I discovered at the ADLI snow gear sale today. Whole families were there, some members dashing headlong into the frenzy while others carefully guarded their trolleys in nearby aisles. There were hand signals, strategic use of trolleys to block people and lots of ducking and weaving. And all I was after was milk.

And just because you are in a desperate survival situation doesn't mean you can't be fashionable. Eurovision likes to set new fashion boundaries so it was great to see Bosnia and Herzegovina rocking it with Mylar survival blankets as capes. They chose the classic bronze and sliver version, with that just unfolded, stylish grid pattern. At about $5 each they obviously had a big budget.

As for zombies there was an interesting piece in the issue 508 of The Big Issue. It covered the history of zombies, particular the pop culture side. But there was some deep discussion around how horror movies tend to be popular during uncertain, scary times. Times of economic troubles, civil unrest and boring election campaigns. So is the interest in zombies really a symptom of a society that, like a maggoty undead, is slow decaying away? Heavy stuff to ponder. Better stock up on more bananas. 


Bite off more banana than you can chew


Mr Rimsky

Budget, zombie soup and apocalypse cars

Well it has been an interesting week.

The Federal Budget was handed down early and as can be expected, no funding for zombie research. Guess the government refuses to believe in zombies, along with global warming.

But zombies must exist because I stumbled across a recipe for zombie soup. Sadly no zeds are harmed in the making of this dish. It doesn't actually contain any undead but is simply one of those jars full of dehydrated ingredients that you throw in a large pot of boiling water for a quick and easy meal. It's a prepper recipe, particularly good for when hordes of unprepared survivors (called zombies in the prepper lingo) turn up on your doorstop after a disaster.

If you are planning to be prepared, Tesla announced a new feature for some of its cars. A military grade bioweapons defense mode! While intended for dealing with pollution it is an awesome feature to have for the zombie apocalypse. In addition to filtering out 'gaseous pollutants' (the stench of the undead) it also removes bacteria, viruses, pollen and mold spores (possible zombie pathogens). No need to buy those car air freshers anymore.

Bite off more zombie soup than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Survival tips

Let's be honest, the chance of a zombie apocalypse is rather low. Other disasters are much more likely, as we have sadly seen with earthquakes in Japan. In fact earthquakes are a big risk in Japan and the authorities are keen to get people prepared. 

 

So the prefecture of Tokyo has a number of handy publications available but naturally the Japanese do things a little differently. They have a cute cartoon character to brand the material and there is even a manga to reinforce what may happen in an earthquake. 

The Lets Get Prepared and Survival Tips publications are particularly interesting. For example, local parks have been designed as evacuation areas. Bench seats can be converted into cooking stoves, park lights are solar powdered and there are manual water pumps. And rows of manhole covers that can be turned into toilets. There are also handy details on making your furniture secure so it doesn't squash your cat in an earthquake. 

The Survival Tips also had some tips I had not seen before, like how to convert an AA battery into a C or D size battery. Very useful if the batteries in your old school ghetto blaster go flat. Another one was how to make a backpack out of a pair of trousers. 

 
Yes they are in English and the cartoon style, while simple, gives you a clear idea of what to do. The Manga was awesome but finished just when it was getting good.   


Bite off more instant ramen than you can chew 

Mr Rimsky

Serious zombie research

Been slack with the posts lately because I have been doing some serious zombie research. And you know what serious zombie research means. Movies!
 

Yes a bit of a time wrap watching (for the first time) some of the classics.

Night of the living dead 1968 - The one that started it all and pretty impressive for a low budget movie. Even features a helicopter. Key lesson, zombies are the least of your worries when you are trapped in a farmhouse with strangers.

Dawn of the dead 1978 - A pretty awesome action film. Even features a helicopter. Dated now but I do really love that 70s style.

Day of the dead 1985 - The first thing to spring to mind during the opening sequence was Gorillaz's track M1 A1 which samples the 'Hello, Anyone out there?' dialogue. Loved the various zombie characters at the end, a clown, a cheerleader, a football player. Loved Bud. Does Romero have a thing for helicopters?

Return of the living dead 1985 - Liked how the half dog and butterflies came back to life. But best of all was Tarman, who has that uncoordinated zombie shuffle down pat. 

Mr Vampire 1985 - Miss ACE's favourite and one I have seen before. Unfortunately the version I had didn't have English subtitles but luckily slap stick comedy and awesome kung fu fights need no translation. 

28 days later 2002 - Boy can Selena weld a machete or what? Featuring the infected living and a virus that can turn someone into a zombie within a few minutes. Another movie where the zombies are the least of your problems.

Shaun of the dead 2004 - Nothing like a bit British comedy, particularly liked the use of a cricket bat.


Bite off more popcorn than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky

Apocalypse Hal: Tracker zombies

We can expect zombies to adapt to different hunting strategies when they are seeking out brains to eat.



Finally there are tracker zombies who will systematic search for and hunt down humans. They will look for signs of humans, like discarded coffee cups or noisy karaoke parties. Once they locate a nest of humans they will attack, possibly working in a pack. Otherwise they may adopt the Waiter or Baiter approach, knowing eventually a tasty human or two will emerge.


Bite off more than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Apocalypse Hal: Ranger zombies

We can expect zombies to adapt to different hunting strategies when they are seeking out brains to eat. 

Another technique is for a zombie to wander around looking for someone to eat. Many animal predators use this method but it is not as simple as you think. Zombies will probably use the Levy Walk, a mathematical model of ranging that involves a mix of long and short trips in a random pattern. It increases the chance of finding something yummy to eat and is used by sharks, bees and tourists.


Bite of more than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Fight like a physicist

If you are going to fight zombies a little physics helps. Actually it can help a lot.

After trying to understand a bit more about kinetic energy I bought this book in the hope it might explain things better. It does and without too much maths with is great for people like me.

Jason Thalken has a PHD in physics and a black belt or two in martial arts. So he has put the two together and written a book on the science of fighting. There are some valuable tips, like the difference between momentum (which is great for shoving zombies out of the way) and kinetic energy (which is great for whacking their heads in). Or why understanding pi can make you punch faster. 

Thalken also presents some interesting US statistics around self defense. Turns out people who immediately attacked their attacker in self defense suffered the least injuries. Seems the best defense is an offense. So don't let the zombies get the upper hand, or your brain. Attack first.

At the end of the book Thalken explains some of those mystical superpowers that you hear about. How to lie on a bed of nails or bend a spear with your throat. Looks like being a mystical monk is all down to knowing your physics. Sadly the book was very light on weapons but did show where the center of gravity on a baby is. Could be useful one day.  

Finally a book that helps put all those boring physics classes you did at school into practical use.


Bite off more than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky