Apocalypse Hal: Ranger zombies

We can expect zombies to adapt to different hunting strategies when they are seeking out brains to eat. 

Another technique is for a zombie to wander around looking for someone to eat. Many animal predators use this method but it is not as simple as you think. Zombies will probably use the Levy Walk, a mathematical model of ranging that involves a mix of long and short trips in a random pattern. It increases the chance of finding something yummy to eat and is used by sharks, bees and tourists.


Bite of more than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

Fight like a physicist

If you are going to fight zombies a little physics helps. Actually it can help a lot.

After trying to understand a bit more about kinetic energy I bought this book in the hope it might explain things better. It does and without too much maths with is great for people like me.

Jason Thalken has a PHD in physics and a black belt or two in martial arts. So he has put the two together and written a book on the science of fighting. There are some valuable tips, like the difference between momentum (which is great for shoving zombies out of the way) and kinetic energy (which is great for whacking their heads in). Or why understanding pi can make you punch faster. 

Thalken also presents some interesting US statistics around self defense. Turns out people who immediately attacked their attacker in self defense suffered the least injuries. Seems the best defense is an offense. So don't let the zombies get the upper hand, or your brain. Attack first.

At the end of the book Thalken explains some of those mystical superpowers that you hear about. How to lie on a bed of nails or bend a spear with your throat. Looks like being a mystical monk is all down to knowing your physics. Sadly the book was very light on weapons but did show where the center of gravity on a baby is. Could be useful one day.  

Finally a book that helps put all those boring physics classes you did at school into practical use.


Bite off more than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky

Zpoc taste test

There are lots of meal choices when it comes to stocking up your Bag Out Bag. MREs, freeze dried meals or even your own dehydrated meals. However if you want to keep it light and simple then food bars are an option. No cooking, just open and eat. Easy to squeeze into your pack and lots of options available. So I though a taste test was in order.

From left to right; Clif Bar, Mr Rimsky's Zombie Bar, Mother Earth, Blue Dinosaur Paleo Bar




 

Clif Bar - Chocolate chip

These get lots of raves overseas so was keen to try one. Visually not what I expected and it reminded me of something from the cat's kitty litter tray. Texture wise it was moist and chewy with very little crumbling. It was sweet but not too much. It certainly did not taste like a chocolate chip biscuit and there was an 'earthy cereal' type flavour that I suspect was due to to ingredients like rice syrup, soy protein, soybean and malt barley.


Price       $3.95
Serving   68g
Energy    1,050Kj (1,544 Kj/100g) 
Sugar      23g (34g/100g)

Texture   moist and chewy
Flavour   very pleasant

Verdict   Clif bars are marketed as a 'formulated supplementary food' so great choice for a survival situation. Best texture, good taste and enjoyable eating.

Mr Rimsky's Zombie Bar  - Dark chocolate and chili

Food bars are a multi million dollar market so naturally I want a slice too. This is a variation of the old US D ration and mainly consists of chocolate. Texture was a bit crumbly but with a nice mouthfeel as the chocolate melts in your mouth. There is a powdery effect due to the oat flour but it wasn't gritty or off putting. The sweetest of all the bars although the use of dark chocolate does tone it down a bit.


Price       no idea
Serving   about 100g
Energy    2,100Kj (2,100Kj/100g?) 
Sugar      Too much
Texture   soft and bit crumbly
Flavour   sweet with tangy chili aftertaste

Verdict   Shows promise. Can be made into a a hot chocolate beverage. Chili boosts the metabolism so probably not a great choice in a survival situation. A chocoholics delight.

Mother Earth baked oat slices - Golden oats

Walk into any supermarket and there are a staggering number of bars and biscuits on offer. Buying some of these mass produced bars makes good sense as they tend to be the cheapest option. I do find these to be overly sweet and not as healthy as other specialty food bars. I grabbed the golden oats variety in the hope it provides a more sustained release of energy. Comparing the nutritional labels this bar had the lowest amount of sugar.

Price       pack of 6 for about $4.50
Energy    772Kj (1930Kj/100g)
Sugar      9g (22.4g/100g)
Serving   size 40g
Texture   Crumbly with that dry and baked feel
Flavour   Bit plain with an oaty taste

Verdict    A cheaper and still healthy option. Made from whole grain cereals and oats and has the lowest sugar content of all the bars. 
 

Blue Dinosaur Paleo Bar  - Cacao mint

Another bar that gets good reviews. The first thing I noticed opening the packet was the minty smell. Definite the standout bar when it comes to taste although the dates give it a certain underlying flavour. Being based on the Paleo diet the ingredients are simple and unrefined. This bar has only five ingredients; coconut, three and half dates, cacao, coconut oil and peppermint oil. Not very sweet, a bit dry and crumbly. 

Price       $4.95 (but you can buy boxes online)
Energy    932Kj (2070Kj/100g)
Sugar      15g (35g/100g)
Serving   size 45g
Texture   soft and bit crumbly
Flavour   best flavour but reminded me of toothpaste

Verdict    A good bar and probably the tastiest. They are smaller than Clif Bars but look to be more energy dense, meaning more energy per gram weight overall.

Note: Due to concerns over nut allergies none of the bars I selected contained tree nuts. This restricted what flavours I could pick. For example the Cacao mint was the only Blue Dinosaur Paleo Bar I could find without nuts.

Apocalypse Hal: Baiter zombies

We can expect zombies to adapt to different hunting strategies when they are seeking out brains to eat.

Baiter zombies will take the ambush technique to the next level by trying to lure humans to them. The most clever ones may use sound, smells or lights as lures as these can travel a fair distance, increase the possibility of a curious human coming to investigate. On a simpler level some food left out on the street may be enough to entice a hungry survivor close enough to snack on.


Bite off more that you can chew

Mr Rimsky

The gift of fear

Gavin de Becker mingles with the rich and famous. And he protects them from crazed killers.

De Becker has spent his life with violence, seeing it, understanding it and preventing it. By his own reckoning, his exposure to violence as a child should have lead him on a path to prison, but he took another direction. His company Gavin de Becker and Associates has spent years pioneering strategies to predict and prevent violence. In his classic book The gift of fear, he explains how you can use fear. It's your survival instinct that is there to protect you, if you listen to it.

Turns out that our fellow humans are one of the most dangerous predators we are likely to face. But how can you tell that one bad person in a society of mainly nice people. There are ways to spot them, certain behaviourial indicators that give them away. Maybe it is that difficult worker in the office, that overly keen romantic interest or that won't-go-away stalker.

This is a fascinating book, if somewhat dry reading in places. And some of the stories are tragic, like the mother who lost her son because she didn't listen to that voice in her head warning her not to trust the doctor. It is worth reading just for the chapter on Assassins. The real life story de Becker tells is just like a TV crime drama. Dead bodies found, crazed killer on the loose, a celebrity rushed to a safehouse, crime scene analysis and profiling, trackers scourging the bush. It has it all.

Seriously, this book could save your life, be it from psychopaths, incompetent surgeons or zombies.


Bite off more than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky

Apocalypse Hal: Waiter zombies

We can expect zombies to adapt to different hunting strategies when they are seeking out brains to eat. There are four or five possible techniques they may use depending on how much cognitive function a particular zombie has.

Simply waiting for some tasty human to walk pass it the most basic technique. The ambush does not require much skill but needs patience, something zombies have stacks of. The smarter ones will learn to hang around shops and apartment blocks where humans are more like to scavenge in. 


Bite off more than you can chew

Mr Rimsky

The Ebola Survival Handbook

I found this book in the library. It is slim, brightly coloured and gives practical advice on dealing with projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea. As bedtime reading goes it ticked all the boxes.

Published in 2014 at the height of the US Ebola scare, Joseph Alton MD provides some handy tips for surviving an Ebola outbreak. Naturally this advice can be adapted to handling a zombie outbreak in Australia. After all, everyone knows the zpoc will be caused by a virus. So if you can deal with the Ebola virus, the zombie virus will be a piece of cake.

The book covers the usual stuff. How Ebola is transmitted and ways to you can prevent getting infected. But there were some interesting bits too. Supposedly there are only 14 hospital beds in the US capable of holding highly infectious patients. Turns out there is a black market in Africa for the blood of Ebola survivors, as injecting it into a patient is a way to treat the disease. And it was estimated that the hospital expenses for treating just one patient (Thomas Duncan) was over $500,000 US dollars. The cost of those face masks and latex gloves really add up.

However if you are on a budget you can do it all at home with some plastic sheeting and buckets of bleach. This is what I found most fascinating, treating your loved ones at home while trying not to catch the disease yourself. Alton has some great tips, like using the plastic covers from your dry cleaning as emergency hospital gowns. The big message from it all is that looking after an Ebola patient is a lot of hard work and a lot of disinfecting. When you consider this in terms of a zombie apocalypse, no wonder anyone bitten tends to get whacked on the spot. It saves so much hassle in the long run.


Bite off more than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky



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