Zombies for the workplace - no joke!

Hey There BZF Bandits, Welcome to 2015 and let me say I am very happy that we have survived another year so we can bring you some awesome and life changing apocalyptic awesomeness!  To change things up, I thought it might be nice to kick off the year on a positive note and we all know that is best done with a touch of terror and of course, zombies!

If you are starting the year with a new job or a change in workplace, then why not suggest the latest and greatest way to get friendly with your colleagues - welcome to Room Escape Adventures!  Before you ask any more questions, yes this is a legit thing happening in the USA where you and your workmates are locked in a room with a zombie for about an hour.

Here is how it all works.  You and your small group are locked in a room with a cranky zombie chained to a chair.  In the room there are clues and riddles that the team must solve together in order to find the key and free themselves from the room and before you get bitten by the naughty zombie.  Sound simple?? Not so lucky, every 5 minutes the zombies chain is extended by 1 foot, reducing the amount of space your team can work with.  It's here that things get interesting as the group will need to prioritise how and which clues are tackled first.

I don't know about you guys, but ice breakers are normally fairly static and awkward but throwing strangers in a room with an unfriendly zombie might be the ticket to breaking down barriers, or at the very least it's a chance for you to volunteer one of your less favoured colleagues to be offered as zombie chow while you frantically turn the room upside down looking for the key!

I applaud Room Escape Adventures for being inventive and pumping some new blood into the corporate world for what has become a rather dreaded experience for adults. Instead of coming up with any excuse under the sun not to attend these kind of team building days, tell the boss to count me in!

Bite you later

Mr Vitamin G

Apocalpse Hal - SWOT

The good old SWOT analysis is a handy tool to use when in the zombie apocalypse. As a leader it helps you make more balanced decisions. Here is an example...

 

The Strengths, Weaknesses. Opportunities and Threats (SWOT) analysis is a structured way of evaluating a business project. It captures both the internal and external factors that are favourable and unfavourable to achieve that business objective.

The SWOT analysis can be used in more general situations where you want to explore the pros and cons of a possible action. Even if it doesn't make any sense it will make you look like you're a professional and a competent leader. 

Bite off more jerky than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky 

Apocalpse Hal - Flowchart

Nothing like a flowchart to tell you what to do when the zombie plague hits.

Cool isn't it. Now you just need the detailed Plans A, B and C to follow. Well I am still working on them. It is all part of the special project I have been working on - the ultimate guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse. 

Something I hope to finalise later this year, probably way later this year.

That is why Apocalypse Hal has morphed from the original web comic to a bunch of handy diagrams. As Miss K would say, I am project managing the zombie apocalypse. 

Bite off more flowcharts than you can chew. 

Mr Rimsky

Apocalypse Hal - Food pyramid

Most people start the new year with a resolution to eat healthy. So lets look at some basic nutrition, zombie apocalypse style.

You are probably familiar with the classic food pyramid. It outlines the amounts of the main food groups you should eat. The pyramid is a very important nutritional tool that everyone ignores, especially teenagers. 

When the zombie apocalypse comes we will be forced to eat whatever we can. Yet, when in a disaster situation you want to ensure your best health, so you can fight off disease and any of your hungry companions who might want to eat you. 

Nutritionists argue over the exact ratio of carbohydrates to protein to fat that a person should consume. As a rough guide about half your diet should be carbohydrates with a quarter for protein and a quarter for fat. A little less fat than protein is better. 

Still in a zombie apocalypse you can't afford to be picky and you will probably eat anything you can get your hands on. Plus you won't know how much fat and protein are in those bugs you scooped up. 

Bite off more human flesh than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky

Zombies and New Year resolutions

Yes it is that time of year when people start thinking of their New Year resolutions. Something really challenging that they can give up after three days of procrastinating. 

The truth is, keeping motivated is bloody hard but luckily that is where zombies come in handy. They are great motivators. So embrace the positive power of scary zombies to keep your resolutions on track. 
 

Sure your family will think you're weird (mine does) look what zombies have done for me this year:

• Motivated me to get fit (well fitter) as I want to be able to outrun those zombie bastards. 
• Even took some refresher swimming lessons. Now I am just a lousy swimmer rather than a pathetically lousy swimmer.
• Finally took that first aid course I have been thinking about. I know CPR and how to delivery babies!
• Organised a bug out bag in case of a zombie attack. It will also come in handy for more mundane things like having to flee because of bushfires, chemical spills and Summernats.
• Binge watched a heap of TV survival shows. If you want to make a signal balloon out of a Mylar space blanket and pine pitch, I'm your man.
• Learned lots of new skills like making prison lighters, prison rope and prison shivs. This really boosts your street cred.
• Had a survival day (ok camped out in the backyard) to further hone my zombie survival skills. 
• Started taking self defense lessons. Ok just one lesson as it was the final class of the year. Will do more next year, promise. 
• Researched amazing stuff about zombies, survival and odd things as part of doing book reviews and Apocalypse Hal. Who knew you can farm maggots!
• Trying to publish a comic each week is pretty impressive too.
• And I had a lot for fun. And some strange looks from people but who cares about that. 

So ask not what you can do to zombies, but what zombies can do for you! Be terrified and stay motivated in 2015. 

And if you fail with your resolutions in the first week of 2015, don't worry. There is about eight "new years" every year (like the Chinese New Year) so just try again. 

All the best for 2015. 

My Rimsky

No mercy

Ok I lied. This is the final book review for the year. And what a book. If you what to live through a zombie apocalypse, or a major disaster, this is the book to read. It is not a survival book. There are no diagrams on how to light a fire or build a shelter. This book is all about the physiological and social nightmares that you face in a disaster situation.

Eleanor Learmonth and Jenny Tabakoff have analysed real life survival stories to explain how people behave and react. And it is not good. Using the William Golding book Lord of the Flies as a benchmark, they have created their own set of survival principles. The last one is the key one to remember - In the long run there is only one rule: self preservation.

In addition to the survival stories, the authors also refer to clinical research studies to support their views. One particular research study is the Robber Cave Experiment, the results of which were published in 1954, the same year as Lord of the Flies was published. Bizarrely they mirror each other. In the Robber Cave Experiment, two groups of 11 year old kids where taken into a remote summer camp and let loose with little parental control. The researchers then manipulated the kids so that they ended up fighting each other, while the researchers stood by to document it all. Wasn't the 50's wonderful. You could experiment on kids and the homeless and no one considered it ethically wrong!

Anyway, things spiraled out of control very quickly with the kids. Unarmed physical violence occurred within 24 hours of the two groups making contact. One group even carried out a night raid on the other group's cabin, The attackers painted their faces commando style, posted guards at the cabin doors so none of the victims could escape, and basically smashed everything up. The researchers finally stepped in when the kids started arming themselves with weapons. Remember these are 11 year old kids from good families in a non survival environment. And people complain about the youth of today.

The book documents the spiraling descent into madness that can happen to a group in a life and death situation. From eating those that have died of natural causes to the next step of killing others to feast on. Then the final stage of madness. Thrill killing until there is just one man left standing. This can happen even when you are living in tropical paradise, as happened with the mutineers of the Bounty when they settled on Pitcairn Island. Finally the authors wrap up looking at  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and the other scars that effect those who do survive the ordeals.  

It sounds gloomy and there are some truly horrifying examples of what average people can do. The good news is that those groups that manage to hold themselves together and work cooperatively have the best survival rates. Once individuals start thinking only of themselves, the body count skyrockets.

Eleanor Learmonth and Jenny Tabakoff do provide some tips on how to keep your group together. So this book is worth reading if you want to be prepared. Or morbidly entertained. Or if you plan to write horror stories - you will notice some the themes have been used in horror movies and The Walking Dead. Also buy the book as the authors are Australian!


Bite off more human flesh than you can chew (but don't eat the liver!)

Mr Rimsky

Apocalypse Hal: More risks

Another risk matrix because, you know, there is going to be a lot of risks in the zombie apocalypse. 

 

  

Now this matrix is all fancy and impresses people. It combines the likelihood of the risk with the impact of the risk.

Let imagine a typical scenario where you are hiding out in a zombie infested city. Every time you go scavenging for food you are always extra careful and pick areas with few zombies. The chances of getting surprised by a rogue zombie is unlikely and because there are only a few zombies about, you would probably escape with just lots of pain. So there is a low risk that you may get some minor injuries. 

The reward for scavenging is food, something important and highly valuable, especially if there is a chance of finding some Tim Tams. You make the judgement that the unlikely, chance of receiving lots of pain is worth the effort of searching for canned dog food and the occasional Tim Tam.

But lets say things change and a horde of zombies started to migrate into your area, then the risk of injury by zombies increases. With some careful observation you estimate that the chance of encountering zombies has increased from unlikely to highly likely. Furthermore with so many zombies staggering around you will have to fight off several zombies if attacked. This raises the impact from lots of pain to massive trauma. 

Now it is very likely that you will get cornered by a pack of zombies and get hit with some massive trauma. You make the judgement call and decide to stop scavenging, even for the Adriano Zumbo Salted Carmel Tim Tams. 

So you can see how the likelihood of the risk happening and the impact of that risk are important. There may be situations where the likelihood is very low but the impact is fatal. Or alternatively you could be guaranteed that the risk will happen but the impact may be very minor. You also need to consider whether the reward for taking the risk is worth it. 

For most of us this it is all a subconscious decision we make on the fly. However it is better to sit down with a clear head and really analyse the risks and impacts and use the risk matrix to guide your decision. 

A risk matrix means you will be make better decisions based on facts and not swayed by a hankering for chocolate biscuits. I keep a copy in my wallet just in case.You can also adapt this matrix for other risks too, like overeating at Christmas.

Bite off more tinned dog food than you can chew.

Mr Rimsky